Who Let The Numbers Out? Who? Who? August 2, 2011
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
I facebooked my Twitter account. I tweeted my Googlehood. I googled my LinkedIN, linked up with my BranchOuts, cut a limb out to my Tumblrs and cartwheeled over my Stumble Upons. I MySpaced my YouTubers, UpThumbed my Picasso Photomontages, re-routed them back to my MySpace via the Facebook MyBand porthole secure server option, then I sat and waited while my computer froze the whole room… cos MySpace, you know, it won’t ever let you in, it won’t let you out, it won’t let you breathe, baby.
It freezes your computer with such a cumbersome momentum that the freeze spreads outward in annoying arcs, across the desktop itself, toward the keyboard and the mouse, backwards and up across the wall paint, it freezes the light fittings in a kind of half-on/half-off position, then it sends out mind numbing waves of sonic biodigits to attack your brain. To make reality TV seem like a preferred option, to make the Kardashians seem like a sensibility one should aspire to.
The MySpace sonic waves spread further and further out. You feel your eyelids flicker, your saliva glands start to go all Pavlov, you know, and your shoulders start rising up, poking out the top of your t-shirt like hangers-on at a Hugh Heffner Fest. The digital sonic wave, the crazed, headless virus, reaches inevitably for your cell phone, of course it does. It’s need is ineffable. Its appetite is it’s reason for being. It cannot, will not, be sated.
It wants all information.
Rupert sent it.
And it doesn’t want to disappoint the great loon.
Song Sung Lile, every garden grows ooonnneeee… May 7, 2011
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
Song Lile, the infamous email scam artist, is at it again.
Or still.
What annoys me about Song is that he is using the word of the lord “Song” in vain.
He calls himself Song when writing his scam emails to people involved in the music business, I’m quite sure. Or at least to those for whom music is a subject area of interest.
Where he gets this information from, only Song knows.
When he writes to people who are into Elvis Memorabilia he uses the name “Gracelands Lile”, or “Priscilla Lile” (always good for a laugh down the pub), or even “Tupelo Lile” for the hardcore fans.
God knows how many people Song (or Tupelo) has suckered into his evil web, but he must be getting some return on it…. I mean, he’s still going.
So here, below, is a typical Song Lile email. In brackets I’ve included what the previous phrase or sentence actually means in real terms.
Good Day, ( hey sucker)
I believe you are a highly respected personality (so you wanna be famous, huh?), I am Mr. Song Lile Credit Officer of Hang Seng Bank Ltd, Hong Kong (I’m basically unemployable, but my ex-wife bought me a computer before she figured out I was hopeless). I have an obscured business suggestion mutual interest to share with you (only Song, I’m afraid, knows what all that is supposed to mean. But I suspect the word “obscured” says it all).
I will need you to assist me (I need you to allow me to dupe you) in executing a business project (I get the business, you get executed) from Hong Kong to your country (whichever country you are now living in is perfect… don’t worry about the laws, cos it’s a scam, and scams are beyond the law. rofl) .
It involves the transfer of a large sum of money to be transferred (just in case you didn’t catch it at the beginning of the sentence) to an offshore account with your assistance (your assistance is this: you give me lots of money, you bank details, your passwords, your pin numbers, your personal information…. that should be assistance enough) if willing (that is, if you got the balls…) to taking this business to success. (success is where I am living in a luxury condo in Florida and you are weeping into a news camera on 60 Minutes) Everything concerning this transaction shall be legally (ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ….so don’t call anyone) done without hitch (if you do tell someone, you will be hanged). Please endeavor to observe utmost discretion in all matters concerning this issue (pretty please, please don’t tell no one. Pleeeeaasseeee. The place I’m living in sucks. I wanna live in Florida).
Once the funds have been successfully transferred into your account (like, as IF) , we shall share (Rofl….) in the ratio to be agreed by both of us (I’ll agree to anything… cos it ain’t NEVER going to end up in your account, sucker). Please respond to my letter immediately (last chance opportunity. Stocks will not last. Buy now…. before it’s too late. Operators are standing by for your call. Shipment guaranteed by this afternoon), so we can commence all arrangements and i shall furnish you ( I will furnish your bank account clean, baby) with more information about this operation (scam) and how we would handle it.
I will prefer you reach me on my private email address below ( songlile6@asus.hk) (yeah, that’s right, he’s got a sus email address….) and send me the following information for documentation purpose:
Your Full Names: (If you hang with the people I hang with, you always need at least 10 different names)
Phone and Fax:
Country.
Your earliest response to this letter will be appreciated (I know it will be appreciated cos I’m always on the look out for suckers)
Kind Regards, (I pee on you and your family from a great height)
Mr.Song Lile.
Hang Seng Bank Limited (and if that doesn’t work I’ll try something else, like Chase Manhattan or some shit…)
83 Des Voeux Road, Central (check out my research skills)
Hong Kong SAR.
ATLOE = So Far, It Is A Life Sentence February 17, 2011
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
ATLOE = So Far, It Is A Life Sentence February 17, 2011
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
How do I do this again?
It’s been a while.
I’m on another freaking diet.
Well, not a diet diet. But a singular diet. A diet designed not to hack off my unwanted pounds, but to sure me up in my allergy to life on earth.
As allergies go the allergy to life on earth, or ATLOE, is a doozie.
Me and my army of trained medical professionals, soothsayers and quacks are all in agreeance on one thing: I am one strange cookie. And my ATLOE is linked to this fact in ways mysterious and quasi-scientific.
Seventeen percent of my quacks and I believe the allergies were triggered by exposure to DDT when I was a kid out on the farm.
They call it “exposure”. I call it “swimming in”.
Thirty-seven percent of us believe the allergies are psycho-somatic. I can read between the lines. Psycho-somatic means if I wasn’t such a loser/loon I wouldn’t have the allergies so I should just stop mucking around and get well.
Get well. In German they say “guter besserung” instead of “get well”.
Which always throws me off cos I thought Guter Besserung was a political dissident wrongly incarcerated by some crackpot third world dictator.
Eleven percent of us believe the allergies are caused by wheat. Cos wheat is in at the moment.
Seven percent of us believe the allergies were caused by my mother providing me with 47 percent fewer hugs than she provided my older sister. I don’t blame my mother. She had shit to do. All that DDT had to be sorted, binned and tagged.
Nine percent of us believe my allergies (sometimes I talk about them as if they are my pets) are caused by me being tall and therefore generally closer to the hole in the ozone layer.
The remainder of us, and none of us is a mathematician so we just guess it’s around one-third, believe the allergies are due to exposure to alien life who visited earth, impregnated my nostrils, nasal cavities and sinus passages with hundreds of ticklish bottle-brush fibres laced with pepper and dust mites.
Tomorrow morning we will find out for sure. I have another appointment with the woman who waves a bendy metallic stick at little bottles of molecules and then sits me on a seat with two round brass plates in my hands for two hours.
Crazy shit.
Even crazier is this: it works.
————————————————————————————–
Ok. That’s better. This blog is officially over its “creative pause”.
Blender Freepong … Emphatically Yours January 30, 2011
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
Ok. From time to time I’m distracted and even fascinated by the digital hubris of internet scammers who insist on trying to denude you of your hard-earned penny, not to mention identity, even if your native tongue is not their native tongue.
I’m pretty sure, if I was running a scam via email I would stick to my native language. I wouldn’t, for example, try to write to people in Cantonese if I wanted them to suspend their disbelief long enough to send me either A. all their important personal information and/or B. a bundle of cash.
Here’s an appeal for help I received today. I mention it only because it includes my new favourite name for an internet/email scam artist… Blender Freepong.
I don’t think it’s ever gonna get better than that. The spelling and grammar mistakes somehow add to the sense of urgency.
So here it is, in all its glory.
“Dearest One,
Besides being interested in living and investing in your country, i am Blender Freepong the daugther of Mr.William J. Freepong of kenama distrit in serria-leone. My father was killed by his business partiners on a business trip. Following the political crisis in my country,i was forced to live my country to Abidjan Ivory Coast where my late father deposited the sum of $(4.500.000.00) (Four Million Five Hundred united state dollars)in a security company here in Abidjan.
The money he made during his time as coco marchants in my country.To be honest with you, this is the only inheritance left for me by my late father which i am with the necessary documents concerning this deposite. Now i have succeeded in locating the security company here in Abidjan Cote d’Ivoire and I am soliciting for your assistance to help me to transfer this money into your country for investments so that we can invest it in any lucrative business in your country because this is my only hope of life. I have promise to gratify you with 10% of the total sum if you assist me. Awaiting anxiously to hear from you so that we can discuss the modalities of this transaction. Please kindly contact me with the above email address immediately for more discussion.
Thanks for your kind attention.
Most emphatically,
Miss Blender BakariFreepong.”
A New Blog Must Rise December 28, 2010
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.4 comments
Well this is a candidate for the new home of my blog. Let’s just take a peek and see, shall we, if it’s gonna get along with Facebook or not.
Shit. I think it automatically inserted a link to Facebook as soon as I typed in just the word Facebook.
And look… it counts the words I write, every line, as I finish them.
That’s 64 words so far.
Now it’s 68.
Now it’s 70.
Hang on a sec. It’s miscounting.
But now it’s caught up again.
Cool. 84 words.
Oh I see. It doesn’t count numbers. Only if they are written as words.
18 990 555
yep.
Just checking.
And now for the special effects.
Voila!!
And a photo. Someplace. Me and the ukulele…
Someplace. Don’t see it on this side yet.
Word count 126.
So… let’s check, see if works.
A Car Is Ten Times As Long and Four Times As Wide As A Person – Paul Fogarty’s Myspace Blog | October 28, 2010
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
A Car Is Ten Times As Long and Four Times As Wide As A Person – Paul Fogarty’s Myspace Blog |.
The Cliff Richard Approach To Email Scams – Paul Fogarty’s MySpace Blog | October 20, 2010
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
The Cliff Richard Approach To Email Scams – Paul Fogarty’s MySpace Blog |.
The Parent Sleep Over – Paul Fogarty’s MySpace Blog | October 16, 2010
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
Google Instant Retreats To Present Moment – Paul Fogarty’s MySpace Blog | October 9, 2010
Posted by paulfogartysongs in Uncategorized.add a comment
Google Instant Retreats To Present Moment – Paul Fogarty’s MySpace Blog |.
