Doppelgangers And StevenSpielbergville

It is no coincidence that one of the few german words in reasonably common useage in the english language is “doppelganger”.
Now, I said “reasonably common,” useage. Cos from time to time I get into conversations about language and philosopy and sociology and linguistics and stuff and occasionally – because I have some connection to Germany, my wife is German, we live there now – the question arises… Is german a difficult language to learn?
My reply is usually: “as soon as I learn it, I will let you know.”
There then follows a discussion about english and german words which seem to come from the same root – Glas/glass, Bier/beer, Fuss/foot, Hand/hand, Finger/finger, Haare/hair – and the like. The main difference in these words being that the Germans like to capitalise their nouns as often as possible to let you know they are things that actually exist.
There are many english words that have made it into german, and many many other languages, of course, but it is quite rare for the opposite migration to take place.
That’s because german words suck. That’s because they were all arrived at via an oblique mathematical process of random-letter-selection, and as we all know, using maths to build equations made entirely of letters, is either algebra, or asking for trouble, or both. The vast majority of german words, when you see them written out on a page, look like alphabet-train wrecks. And I’m here to tell you, when I try to wrap my lips around them, there ain’t no survivors.
But one of the rare instances in which a german word, in popular common useage in german, has made the journey deep into english without any changes or vaccinations, is doppelganger.
A doppelganger is a ghost of someone which usually hangs around, looking exactly like that someone, and often haunting that person’s flesh and bones and possibly driving them mad.
The slightly looser translation is that a doppelganger is somebody’s double. Simple. A twin, totally unrelated, and yet existing on earth in some other town, society or culture, living a completely other life to yours but looking the spitting image of you.
Berlin is full of them. Here is a list of the doppelgangers I have seen here in Berlin since September last year.
The first was Elliot Gould. I saw him at a Saturday morning market over on the Strasse des 17 Juni back in September when we first arrived. I was stunned by two things. Firstly, that Elliot Gould should be dressed so casually and be able to strut about so freely, out in the open, at a Sunday market in Berlin; and secondly, that he should have negative-aged by 30 years. He looked 35. I saw him and I thought to myself: “Jesus those Hollywood types really know how to look after themselves…that’s incredible.”
Then I thought: “Hang on…isn’t he, like, not dead exactly, but at least really tired?”
Then I realised, it wasn’t him. It was his double.
I have also seen roaming around Berlin in various states of dress, age, and implosion, Vic Morrow, Placido Domingo, River Phoenix, Tom Cruise, Katie Couric, and Johnny Carson.
On Tuesday this week I saw Steven Spielberg riding a push bike with a little grey back pack on his back. He almost ran over me at an intersection. I almost reached my arm out and slapped him on the shoulder and called out “Hey Steve! Love your work. What the hell are you doing in town?” but then I realised A: I don’t even know Steven Spielberg and it would be inappropriate to seem so buddy-buddy, and B: it probably wasn’t even him, it was his doppelganger.
Then I started looking at the people around me, just walking along, and cycling by, minding their own business, and I realised almost every second dude in Berlin looks exactly like Steven Spielberg. It is StevenSpielbergville.
When I got home I read an article about how Heath Ledger had won an oscar and it hit me… no way would Steven Spielberg be cycling around Berlin with a little grey backpack during Oscar Week. No way, he’d be partying on in Tinseltown, probably drop in to Elliot Gould’s house…